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Did you enjoy the show?” “It was great. When you slipped your hand into your bikini bottoms I nearly fainted. I guess all the blood went somewhere.” She laughed, “I’ve never done that, you know, in front of anyone. It was hot.” “Well I’ve never been that excited. I wanted to taste you. You don’t know how badly I wanted to come over there.” She let out a smothered laugh like she had trouble catching her breath. I was imagining those tight black shorts getting moist. She liked a little dirty talk. I continued, “I’d like to help you do that sometime. So you have never masturbated with anyone before? Not even with a horny roommate in college? I thought all girls did that.” “Oh my god no, I’ve never done anything like that with anyone, least of all another woman.” “That’s too bad, girls diddling themselves while talking about guys is every guy’s fantasy. Or better yet, diddling each other.” She talked slower now, “Really? You would want to watch that?” She paused. “I did have a little. There was a discussion at a military officers training college in the 1970s on the topic “The Irish Question” and the subtext read “How do we stop the fighting between the Catholic Irish Republicans and the Protestant Ulster Unionists?” One essay submitted read “Get the UN to put in a peace-keeping force of either the French Foreign Legion or the Canadian Royal 22nd (the Van Doos). The natives will gang up on them to protect their womenfolk.”This one is compliments of Reltney MFeeling philosophical today, so I thought I’d share a gem from undergrad school:Sartre Theorized, “To do is to be” Camus countered, “To be is to do” Sinatra synthesized the differing viewpoints: “Do be do be do!”These are compliments of Smokeyjoe from the land down under!What do toys and boobs have in common? A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!Q: What kind of bees produce milk?A: Boobies!Q: What do you call a woman who adds a third boob?A: A chestnut.Q: What did the bra.
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